I do have public posts but I am beginning to appreciate privacy a little more nowadays.
Most of my entries are visible only to certain friends or groups.

So if you're a friend, add me and I will add you back.
*subjected to my own discretion*

I'm so afraid I don't know how to get any better.

I love it whenever guys come up to me and ask what sport I'm training for.


LURVE IT.

I love it when I train&pump as hard as them, execute good form, and do the extreme/less girly stuff.

I'm mad.

or so I believe.

I will stay firm to my goals, even if it robs me of everything else.

Even if I lose friends and they forget about me.
Because I'm easily replaceable and I shall not deny that I'm not one of the important ones.

Because even if I fail as being a friend, at least I still have my goals and dreams.


So this time, I will not whine about it. I will just stand here and watch them slip away.

I refuse to put my feelings down into words.

I refuse to even think about them.

I'm killing myself.

Dear woman I call mother,

I spent 24 yrs of my life trying to prove my worth, and yet I got shouted awake to return direct ethernet connection to your useless son's ps3?!! SERIOUSLY??? My significance is even lesser than a bloody modem???

When I was 12, you threw away my stickerbook and complete collection of sailormoon. My pocket money was only $2/day. You don't know how hard i saved. You caned me so hard when you found out I sneaked out to J8 with my friends. No, I hadn't heard of the existence of Orchard Road then.

When you scolded me at age 15 that I didn't know how to do housework, that I was useless, and I ended up gradually doing all my ironing and laundry. Until now, your son doesn't even know how to do either of that.

When you got hit by my father when I was 18, I stood in between the both of you to defend you while your useless son hid in his bed and cried like a baby.

When I was 20, I finally made it to uni, because you said it was mandatory since I started nursery. Not once, did you ask me how I was gonna afford sch fees. Of course, you assumed that my father could magically afford 4.5k every semester.

After the marriage failed, there was seldom home cooked meals. There is only food on the table whenever your precious son comes home from NS.

I don't know what I've done wrong. I made it to stnicks although you wanted me to go rgs. I struggled through my jc years because poly is for those who couldn't make it. I'm finally graduating in December.

and your son? Can't even make it to poly after ITE. Gets bullied even until now. Doesn't even know how to fix his PC although he studied IT. Doesn't know how to save my father's money.

No. I really don't get it. Because I'm born a girl? Because I'm gay?

My fcking head hurts.

I value my privacy a lot.

Therefore, goodbye.

Many have loved you with lips and fingers
And lain with you till the moon went out;
Many have brought you lover's gifts!
And some have left their dreams on your doorstep.

But I who am youth among your lovers
Come like an acolyte to worship,
My thirsting blood restrained by reverence,
My heart a wordless prayer.

The candles of desire are lighted,
I bow my head, afraid before you,
A mendicant who craves your bounty
Ashamed of what small gifts she brings.

(Elsa Gidlow: 1898-1986)

(Actually this post is more of lik for my own reference so I shall not elaborate since it's for my own memory purpose. Do not expect a nice following blog post)

Ever since hanging out with Melissa and friends, namely, CHASE(!), Fiona & Yishun..
erm I think I've had no time to update this space here.

I think we drink beer like everyday. and I see them almost everyday.
den CHASE was lik having withdrawal symptoms of us after steamboat/stayover.
Awww so cute la sherry! Haha.

and because I don't have all the photos & CHASE(!) has alr made collages,
CHASE I use your pictures k! :D

Cuppage - 18th April before Zouk!



MoS on 20th April

cos it was free entry with once again, Mel, CHASE(!), Fiona, Yishun + Jolin(in the house! CT in the house!) + Seekee + Konane + Charmaine.
and I went to find my colleagues that I wasn't very close to before but that night brought us closer together! HAHA. Namely, Cecilia & Tiong Hua..and Tiong Hua has a client who is so fucking lesbo and kept flirting with me the whole night -.-


Shyt I can't recall! This is bad!
I don't rmb what was on that Saturday.
Oh I rmbed! I went Dragonfly with Jene mama & Jo and her partner.
and I joined Mel & gang after that! I rmb Jolin passed out totally and it was quite panicking!


Zouk again nxt wed(25th April) and it was very empty! )):
No pictures.


Thursday! 26th April.

Fiona and I went to pierce our navel all the way at Tiong Bahru for $48! Quite a deal.
But mine's a bit slanted )): Haha thanks to the whole troop for accompanying us all the way there. and den it was Chomps aft that!


Friday 27th April.

Went Zouk with Mel for the Youth Empire event.
Didn't stay on at Zouk tho. Went down to O Bar and my colleagues came to find me (but sorry I couldn't head down to mos with you all). Drinks there are so cheap!!! :D
Headed down to Powerhouse after that!
( VERVE )


Saturday 28th April.
STEAMBOAT + STAYOVER at CHASE's house! :D
No pictures cos I haven't got photos from Mel/Fiona/CHASE!


Sunday 29th April.
I went all the way down to Jurong to get cheap icecream with my colleagues.
Wahpiangs! Bought lik 30bucks worth of icecream!!!


Monday 30th April - Labour Day's Eve.
We didn't club okayy! Went to some Karaoke Pub at Gardens and sing and drink beer until damn high!







That's all for now.
I need to slp (it's 3am now)
Shall post about Stnicks and Zouk fun with my darlings soon :D